We tend towards being headstrong in my family. In fact, one of my sisters, angry at my mother, once threatened to run away. She was no more than six or seven at the time.
Parenting methods were tough back then and my mother called her bluff. She found a bag and helped my sister pack. My mother walked her to the door and my sister broke down in tears. She learned a lesson. From that point, she realized she didn’t want to leave home. Unfortunately, she took something else from the experience: her perception, then at least, that my mother didn’t care if she left.
As parents, we’ve all been tempted to do exactly what my mother did at least once or twice. That temptation can be overwhelming once our children become teenagers and start challenging house rules on a regular basis. But if we help our child “pack,” are we prepared to deal with the possible consequences?
Yesterday, in Barrie, Ontario, Steve and Angelika Crisp, along with two thousand other mourners, gathered to honour the life of their fifteen year-old son, Brandon. Their sorrow was mirrored elsewhere in Canada, by people who never knew Brandon or his family, but who had agonized with them, and prayed for his safe return.
He’d been gone since Thanksgiving weekend, when his ongoing obsession with a particular Xbox game became the focus of a heated family argument. The Xbox was taken away, and Brandon became furious. He said he was leaving and never coming back. His dad, certain that Brandon would be home before dark, helped him pack.
Steve and Angelika Crisp never saw their son alive again.
The search for Brandon was extensive and lasted thirty days. People by the hundreds volunteered to search on foot. Helicopters and canine units scoured the area. Every day there was news of another possible sighting, but each lead went nowhere. The media shouted his disappearance in every way they could. Even “America’s Most Wanted” took up the cause. All this while his friends and family held their collective breath, and prayed.
On November 5, Brandon was finally found. Not the victim of foul play as was suspected, he likely died from a fall. His body was discovered in a forested area just a few kilometres from his home. It was a tragic end to the month long search for the young runaway.
No one’s fault, of course. Nothing that could ever have been predicted. Children and teenagers threaten to leave home all the time, and ninety-nine percent of them remember to return for dinner. But for Brandon Crisp’s parents, those odds don’t matter, and therein lies the tragedy.
My heart breaks for them.
ROADBLOCKS, DETOURS and ROUNDABOUTS 
Linda… I have been shunning this news story for fear of becoming too emotionally involved in it. Also because the media play by play was relentless. Your very compassionate post about it is the best thing I’ve read all day. Thanks.
C
Wonderful post. Beautiful blog. You’re able to make this tragedy human without exploiting it. That’s a rare talent.
Beautifully well written and heartfelt post Linda.
This is a tragedy which I’m sure has touched a nerve with every parent. It may even make a lot of people stop and think “How important is this?” before a heated discussion. No one could have known the outcome, and that is a tragedy.
What is a greater tragedy is that the parents are being reminded of the cause of the initial fight constantly by the media. Ther grief is compounded every time there is a news story about this tragedy. Do we need to be reminded by 680 News every news report that Brandon ran away because of a fight over an XBox? How important is this to keep reminding us and the parents of this?